Wow China!


We have never struggled with what we are going to teach our kids to call their private parts. Part of the reason is that we are too lazy to come up with nicknames. And we think it’s appropriate to let them understand that their private parts are parts of their bodies, like eyes and arms. So Ethan has never seemed to care and he will wildly call for instant help when needed. “Mommy, my penis is itchy.” It happens at the grocery store most of the time. When I was a child, saying something similar out loud would be considered as using foul language. People at the grocery store would be mortified and look at my mother thinking she might have also taught me how to shoplift with a gun.

Recently we’ve started to introduce the term vagina to Maya. Every time I take her to the potty, I tell her that the part down there is her vagina. Except she always says WOW CHINA. No, Maya, not China. VVVVVVAAAA.GI.NA. WWWWWWWOOOWW.CHI.NA.

This really frustrates me because China is such a huge manufacturing country. How am I supposed to explain to her that some of her shoes, dresses, toys are made from her China? She might be traumatized by the fact that her China also manufactures vehicles. And how much people love to openly talk about her China. Wow! China!

Therefore we think it’s necessary to nickname her parts. Except we have no idea. I remember one time when I had my ultrasound appointment while I was carrying her. The technician jokingly called a penis a sausage, and vagina a burger. But I don’t want Maya to have to think about her vagina every time she pulls up to a drive-through. I.HAVE.NO.IDEA.

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