Five years ago…

07152011 - 5 years ago

I clearly remember when I was writing this post last year that it was like a couple days ago. Then another year went by. Ethan has become a little guy, and we have Maya.


Taking care of kids is hard. I’m constantly drained physically and emotionally. Plus the fights with their father… Oh, the fights! People say that it affects marriage when you have kids, I wasn’t convinced until now. And it takes a tremendous effort to fix it, because it’s too easy to give up.

I’m not going to say that I don’t feel stressful because I love my kids dearly. But it’s true that it’s totally worth the effort. There is not one single moment when I don’t feel ignited seeing myself and my kids’ father in their faces.

The other day at the grocery store, Ethan got his fingers stuck in the cashier conveyor belt. During that longest minute in my life when he was bawling in pain and waiting for help, my heart was burning erratically inside worrying if it would break his fingers. Sweating all my shirt, the lunatic of me couldn’t think of anything but held him tight and yelled some unhelpful yells. Only Matt was all calm trying so hard to tilt up that belt by fingers. Only him doing things helpful.

Only he calms the lunatic of me.

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