I can’t wait to teach her how to do laundry

01302011- I can't wait to teach you how to do laundry

Recently Maya has started to enjoy chewing her hands at every possible opportunity. Sometimes she holds up one of her fists and gazes at it feeling amazed how delicious it is.

Aside from being very cute, her hand chewing is also very loud and drooly. If I don’t keep up with the wiping, her entire face will become slimy with drool. Sometimes she chews her fist so aggressively that she sucks in too much air, and it gets her to let out a fart that has to squeak its way out her butt, past the hardwood floor and out into the open air. Like a perfectly tuned trumpet solo that lasts for TEN SECONDS.

Now, since she farts as frequent and noisy as she poops, I’m getting all mixed up. Sometimes the confusion just leads to a big freaking mess – I wasn’t sure it’s her poop or fart until I found out an explosion of neon orange poop out the top of her diaper splattered up like the spray of a fountain to her back and neck. It’s the type of poop that could glow in the dark, like war paint on a hard brick wall, one that required a fire hose to clean up. And thus forcing me to do yet another load of laundry.

We made space crafts and flew humans to Mars, but we can’t invent diapers that don’t leak?

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