fanny
Let’s talk about Maya’s nap, or the “cradle me while I’m napping or I will be wide awake, you moron!” nap.
The funny thing is when she is being held, she can sleep for hours. Once she is put down, she will go around two minutes staying asleep, and then at the end of that two minutes stretch she will flash open her eyes and explode with screams as if to say, “Ha ha! Gotcha! I was just joking.”
Anytime I try to put her pacifier into her mouth hoping it would help soothe her back to sleep, she will either use her tongue to guard it from going in or spitting it ten feet across the room. The situation is so maddening that I did consider duct taping the damn thing on her face.
So we’ve been holding her A LOT. And it’s fine when she was still a tiny and lightweight new-born. But she’s become a crocodile now. People don’t hold crocodiles. I’m actually breaking the rule of nature by holding her. And I’m also breaking my own arms.
Fortunately and surprisingly, I received this Christmas gift in the mail from Josephine, my friend from Hong Kong. It said on the parcel there’s a baby carrier. I was all confused when I opened it and found a big piece of fabric tube. Then it came to my mind that Josephine also has two kids around the same age of mine. She’s probably telling me, “I suck on that too. NO SOLUTIONS! RIP!” That piece of cloth was to hang myself.
Turns out it’s really designed to carry babies. Simple and brilliant design! No long strings, no straps. And POLKA DOTS! Seriously, I would carry Maya with this until she is eight.
First time I put her on this carrier, she passed out for THREE HOURS STRAIGHT. Now if her goal is to torture me by fracturing my arms, ha ha, she lost!