fanny
Dear Ethan,
You are 10 months old today.
You father and me had a little getaway. We spent the past few days in Whistler just to “re-connect” before you are assigned to be raised by either one of us in the future. Listen, Ethan, I want you to know that’s nothing wrong with you, but lots of fights have been going on between me and your father since you were born. Afterall, we are adjusting from a family of two to a family of three, arguments are inevitable. Just cut it out here.
So, as usual, you stayed at your grandparents’ where you can eat all over your face, chest, hands, and most importantly, you can eat NON-STOP. Remember I told you your grandma has unlimited everything in her house? Yes, even food. She actually has the habit to buy food in bulk and freeze them, but barely cook them. To accommodate her “food collection” hobby, she has 3 freezers, two in the dinning room and one in the garage. Your auntie Karin always teases that if we come across any disasters or wars, we won’t be starved. We may be able to cover the neighbors too. At your grandma’s, also unlimited is germs, dirt, dust……She has no sense of hygiene. HER HOUSE IS DIRTY! So, the combination of her being not hygienic and her obsession to feed you is a tough training to your immune system. She loves to brag about how she raised her four perfectly healthy kids in this way. Well, I just know that a let’s-eat-the-whole-universe baby plus non-stop spilling dripping food feeding is one freaking laundry detergent commercial in the making. Why I still put you there? Well, THEY WANT YOU! They want to lock you in their house forever. They don’t care about their own son anymore, but their son’s son! When your grandma calls, all she asks about is you! “How’s Ethan? I’ve brought a whole baby section from Zellers for him.” And I’d say, “He’s fine, but I just fractured my backbone when I tried to pick him up and he just bit off a piece of flesh from my arm.” She’s like, “Oh, you will be fine. Is he crying? I heard he’s crying.”
This month, you’ve achieved quite some milestones. First, you poop in your potty regularly, without any training. Everyday I’m so looking forward to this session because it not only relieves you, even me. Before, you would not go for days constantly even though you ate a 10-hectare vegetable farm and drank 10 gallons of water everyday. You may be told later in your life that how moody a woman is when she’s having her period, but, Ethan, believe me, it’s nothing. My mood swing during those couple days that you couldn’t go was really something. I was like having 3 to 4 heavy-flow periods in a month. Then one day, I put you onto your $40 musical “Royal Potty Chair” that your grandma bought you. After 5 minutes, bomb, YOU POOPED IN THERE! And I went I-won-a-slot-machine-jackpot ballistic. Now, you go in your potty every day before you take bath. Except the day after you are at your grandma’s where you eat too much that you can’t hold until that regular daily session.
You’ve also accomplished mobility! Yes, you’ve learned to crawl. Well, if you’d call it “crawl”. Your crawl is not the traditional crawl, the one that you are moving one arm and the opposite leg together when you move forward, and people can actually see where you are going. You move like a crab with missing appendages who also loves to flip over like a turtle. This is one of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen. Most of the time, when I thought you were moving towards something, then just like collapse from the exhaustion, you would flip over and lie there and flip over again, until you reach another direction. You love to head over to the TV cable and put your mouth onto it, and I will pull you away and let you bite onto something else, like flip-flops, carpet, couch or my bra-strap. Anything that does not get you electric shock. Speaking of biting, your two upper teeth have been trying to make their way to the world. Oh, Ethan, they are two gigantic teeth.
This week, I’ve started to take you to the park nearby our house after our afternoon walk. I put you on the baby swing which looks like a XXL-sized granny panties made of hard plastic. Yes, you are thrilled to be in the swinging granny panties. So, here’s what happened on the first day of your park visit: you were swinging one of the two baby swings, then it came two boys about 6 to 7 years old. One of them (Boy A) tried really hard to climb onto the swing which was probably the same height as him. He made a few attempts before he could successfully stand himself into the granny panties and swing himself by rocking his body. Another boy (Boy B) just stood next to him trying to push him.
Boy A: Don’t push me, I’m not a baby. (He glanced at us)
Boy B kept pushing
Boy A: Stop it. Do you want me to hit you in your face?
Boy B: I will hit your on your butt. (He ran away)
After a few gentle pushes, I held your swing up against my chest then counted to three before releasing the swing. You enjoyed flying a little higher that you chuckled really loud. Boy A saw that and he changed himself into a sitting position wanting to swing like you did. Apparently the swing was too small for him that his body and limbs were all tightened up. Boy A yelled for Boy B.
Boy A: Come and push me!
Boy B ignored him.
Boy A: Come or I will beat you up.
You looked over to Boy A. Boy B just ran away further.
Me: Do you want me to push you?
Boy A: No, I’m not a baby. (I rolled my eyes)
Me: Well, I’m sure you can do it by yourself. (You looked back to me, and we did the flying game again)
Here you go, the first day in the park, you’ve already been that influential!
Ethan, I love to push you in your swing as long as you want me to. I love to watch you enjoy your flying world in a quiet moment where you are contemplating the high blue sky. I love to see your display of pure joy and excitement which grabs my heart so forcibly. Now, I appreciate the world more. The world has more colors because you are looking at it, the music has more melodies because you are listening to it.
Love,
Mommy